As you live your life, going about your business and interacting with people every day, are you doing what is right for you?
If that seems like a weird question, keep an open mind and think about that. If you are someone who cares about other people, you likely also care about what others think of you. That can sometimes lead you to think how you think others expect without even being aware that you’re doing it. Well minded family and friends offer input that they truly think is best for you. If you learn to live for yourself, you will take that information and discard what doesn’t fit for you. You will be much happier if you can do that. Those well-intended suggestions can only come from their point of view and experience. Although they may mean well, only you can decide what’s best for you.
Sometime, it’s difficult to truly understand yourself. How can you know if the ideas you get from others will fit with your true nature unless you are already confident that you know your own soul and mind? Have you ever taken stock of your strengths and weaknesses? Can you identify what excites you and what you shy away from? Do you know your purpose in life?
It seems like it should be obvious, however many, many people have not taken the time or made the effort (it does take effort) to assess their motivations and belief system. Everything worthwhile takes some effort.
Why Does It Matter?
This may sound selfish – but, it’s really not. If you don’t feel confident in your own identify, how can you offer much to anyone else? It is much easier to ‘go with the flow’ than to be a unique individual. However, your uniqueness (if lived to the fullest) is what will truly make you happy.
Are you concerned about what others think of you? Of course, I’m not suggesting that you do anything to purposely offend anyone or make others miserable. It really just gets down to your motivation. Do you truly know why you do the things you do? Why do you think the thoughts you have? Are you seeking approval from others or are you deciding for your self?
An Example From My Life
I bring home a paycheck that covers our expenses and allows us to save a little – and I’m grateful for that, but I’m tied to the office 9 to 5 in addition to commuting of about 2 1/2 hours five days a week. It may be because I’m tired after 40 years of working for someone else (or just now realizing how short time is), but I value my time – it’s precious. If I contribute at the office, it makes my employer enough to provide me a good paycheck. I like the idea that I can make revenue for myself and spend my time as I choose. I need to be able to generate at least the same amount on my own as my employer pays me. That will allow me to choose how to spend my time.
My strengths in this area that came to mind were: persistence, passion, positive, outgoing, logic, interested in learning new things.
My weaknesses (after much soul-searching) were fear of failure, lack of knowledge, no clear direction, impatience, mistrust and not feeling worthy.
Can We Be Honest Here? Before I identified those traits, I attempted to start an online business multiple times and failed over and over again. I approached the effort with a mind set that there had to be a way and I was going to figure it out. Because I didn’t have the knowledge, I bought every shiny object I saw – grasping for an answer. My mind was in a sort of desperate state and I wasn’t willing to listen to any conflicting information about my goal. Feedback from those close to me just made me dig in my heels and try harder. Coming from a place of peace and knowing will allow you to determine the actions you need to take.
Tips and Techniques
- Stand in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eye. Ask your reflection who you are. When I did this, it made me laugh at first. I felt silly talking to myself in the mirror. After a while though, it was a very powerful activity. I think you’ll find that to be true as well.
- Meditate in a quiet place and ask what your purpose is. As you do this repeatedly, I’m confident you’ll find out some things that you have buried,
- The most important tip of all is to make a plan based on what you discover. Identify some steps you can take to address anything you discovered that you want to change in your life.
Keep An Open Mind
Keeping a positive attitude is important as you go through this discovery process. No matter what you find out about yourself, remember to keep everything in perspective. You are a unique individual and have gifts that can make your life and this world better if you learn to use them properly.
Take input from others with an open mind. Realize that they are trying to be helpful, but may not know what’s best for you. Only you know that.
Assess your strengths and weaknesses honestly. Be aware that your current state of mind may influence your discovery process. When you can clear your mind and really evaluate yourself openly, the result will be much more rewarding.
Learn to live for yourself and find peace of mind. Develop a plan of action and Do It! Understand that it will take some time. This kind of life changing process will usually be most beneficial as challenges appear in your life. That usually prompts the desire to discover how to overcome them.
Discovery can occur at any time, it just seems that most are highly motivated when a challenge comes up.
Let me know if I can help in any way by leaving a comment or send me an email.
All the Best,
- The Importance of Self Understanding – Get the Puzzle Out of the Box
- What Is Proactive Personality Anyway?
I have to agree that we sometimes do need to take a break and assess our own self. In this modern day, most people are busy that they tend to forget the essential factors in life such as finding our purpose. Admitting our own strength and weaknesses can improve our way of life.
From our own strength, we can do something about our weaknesses. For example, I tend to complain about how things are done with current and new policies at work. This may upset my colleagues or boss. Because that’s my weakness, I can lessen or totally change my attitude through my strength qualities. One of which is my openness. I could probably talk about it and compromise on what both parties can offer.
Thank you, Betsy for influencing us with your positivity.
Thank You for your comment! I like your idea about using your strength to overcome your weakness in that situation. The key is taking action – good for you!
I started to ask a lot of these questions to myself a couple of years ago. And I didn’t like the answers. I realised that I was way too affected by my family and friends and a lot of times, I didn’t take risks, because I was afraid they would judge me.
I promised to myself, then that I would never do this again. That was when I started meditating. I use an app for guided meditation and it helped me a lot.
Congratulations! I started meditating with an app at first and it helped me as well! All the Best to You!