Have you ever depended on someone else to accomplish something and they let you down? How did you react?
Have you been the one that someone else depended on to accomplish something and you let them down? How did you react?
These five tips on how to become a better person are related to both of those situations. What they both have in common is your reactions. Being better requires taking better control of yourself and consequently, your reactions.
Consider the Consequences
Disappointment will raise different emotions, depending on the severity of the consequences. What I mean by that is, did you or another person buy the wrong can of beans or did your car get totaled. Of course the severity of those are extremely different.
On one hand, buying the wrong can of beans in and of itself seems so inconsequential. It may not even be considered a let down. Consider, though – has the wrong can of beans been purchased multiple times in the past and whoever was responsible has been told about it? It could be that this time was just the last straw. In that case, the disappointment isn’t about the beans, it’s about something else.
On the other hand, having a car totaled can be very upsetting. Consider though – was it the drivers fault or someone else – or, even the conditions on the road at the time.
These things needs to be taken into account before you can determine the appropriate reaction.
Understand Your Emotions
No matter who is being depended on to do something, your reaction will be triggered by the emotions you have about it.
How do you normally feel when someone else lets you down? Frustrated? Hurt? Disappointed?
Again, it kind of depends on the situation – right? It also depends on your personality and previous feeling about that person.
How do you normally feel when you have let someone else down? Shameful? Embarrassed? Defensive?
It’s very likely that your feelings will be impacted by how the other person reacts as well.
Stop (for just a second)
This is where you take control. You must assess your feelings and take into consideration lots of things – in a second.
Then, determine how you will react.
Will you scream? Will you argue? Will you apologize? Will you walk away? Will you ????
This is where the rubber hits the road (so to speak).
If you’ve been disappointed by someone else:
* Consider the feelings of the other person before you react
* Consider the severity of the situation before you react
* Consider possible solutions
* Consider how the situation is not about you.
* Communicate how they made you feel – with empathy for them (assuming they didn’t mean to let you down)
If you have disappointed someone else:
* Do not be defensive
* Respect whatever the offended person has to say (even if they don’t know how to react well)
* Propose possible solutions
* Learn from your mistake
There are many things to consider as you try to become a better person.
Finding the composure to control how you react in difficult situations is a foundational aspect of this journey.
Please leave your comments below and let me know your thoughts on this topic.
I’d really like to know.
All the Best,